Here’s the deal. I’m lazy. I just am. I enjoy waking up late and staying in bed too much. I have a love/hate relationship with scrolling through Instagram and other distractions from my phone. I don’t know why it is this way. I hate how I am like this but at the same time I always find myself gravitating towards it. After an hour or two of work, I feel myself wanting to lay down and scroll. It’s not even the scrolling part. It’s more the resting part that is appealing. I could be anything but scrolling best suits me when laying down in bed.
I don’t even like the scrolling. It’s something to do that I get a little stimulation from. I don’t feel good doing it. But it’s like that millisecond of hope of something new and stimulating every time I scroll down to the next post. That’s what keeps it alive. The content itself isn’t anything great. It’s all about the hope of seeing something that is great.
Is this addiction? Or is this laziness? Or is this addiction to laziness? Perhaps all of the above. I think about suffering a lot when these types of low moods hit. Not in a bad way though. In fact, in the best of ways. As I was in bed last night watching a video I came across, something interesting that was said. It was something along the lines of “suffering equals success”. The two men that I admired were talking about finding happiness is a dumb pursuit. And it would be more worthwhile to suffer because suffering is a more effective route to happiness. Don’t take this too literal like in the physical sense. The crux of the conversation was based around working hard instead of being happy and lazy. That’s me right now. Happy and lazy. But happy isn’t the right word. Instead, I’d say comfortable and lazy. I’m comfortable with my life right now which is why I have no drive or urge to do something crazy.
I want to do something crazy. I want to do something I’ve never done before. If I stay on this path every day for a year, nothing will happen. I will continue to do mediocre work for my company and collect a very nice pay check. What new skills will I have learned if I continue doing what I’m doing? Most likely I won’t learn anything new since I’ll still be doing the same thing every day. Write a little bit, do a little work, workout, eat great dinners, watch a bunch of videos, and get a good night sleep.
I want wealth. More importantly, I want team members. I don’t work well with myself. I get off the path too often. Being on a team helps me become accountable and that’s extremely important with me. I’ve found accountability is a big motivating factor. Accountability and trying to impress the right people. If those two factors are involved in one way or another then I know I’ll be successful and hard working.
I always try to find the easy way to do something. What if I tried to find the hardest way to do something? What’s the hardest way to create wealth? My first answer would be to start a business. It’s easy to sit back and collect a nice paycheck from your job. But starting a business, that’s another beast. So what’s taking me so long?
I think a big piece of the problem is my laziness. I love laying down. I love not moving. I love being lazy. I love not working. This is where I think accountability would help me the most. I’m not sure what’s taking so long but I don’t think this will solve itself on its own. It’s going to take some effort out of me and it’s going to be uncomfortable. But that’s what needs to happen. Plain and simple. It’s going to take uncomfortable work. But once I have a project up and running and generating income hopefully. Then the accountability will grow. I will start to be accountable to the company and my customers and way down the line perhaps even employees. But in the beginning which is where I am, it’s going to take uncomfortable work.