Hey there folks. First off, let me start by saying how great it feels to write again. Time off can be a wonderful thing, but I’m ready to start pumping out more content now. Recently I’ve had this urge to write about polarity, especially when it comes to relationships. Whether that relationship is sexual, friendly, or professional, I never really knew the importance of polarity when it came to relationships.
Let’s first define what I mean by polarity. Polarity doesn’t mean confrontational. It doesn’t mean difficult to get along with. It doesn’t mean constantly disagreeing. Polarity means being true to your thoughts and opinions and being decisive. Decisiveness is so important in any relationship. Has your significant other ever asked you, “What do you wanna watch tonight?” Or, “What do you want for dinner?” And you reply with, “I don’t know, what do you want?” This is the opposite of polarity, and this is the lack of decisiveness. For a long time, I thought I was being nice and courteous that I was asking for someone else’s input. Sure, it’s a “nice” thing to ask for someone else’s opinion. However, this is very bad leadership on your part. This shows you lack the ability to know what you want and to act on what you want. This shows you have no direction, and your partner will resent you for it. It may not come up right then and there. But, there will come a time where this habit comes back to bite you and your partner or friend will lose their belief in you. They’ll lose that energy that attracts you to each other. “Nice” isn’t always the best thing for attraction, whether that be a sexual attraction or a mental attraction. When asked for your opinion on something, do not reciprocate that ask. Instead, communicate your opinion. If your partner is asking for it, give it. Do not roll over just for the sake of being nice. Now, there will be plenty of times where you are asked something and perhaps you honestly don’t have an opinion. That’s fine. You’re not supposed to have an opinion on everything. However, communicate the first thing the comes to your mind. Then after you can ask if your partner has a better idea. Chances are if they are already asking for your opinion, it’s because they don’t have one of their own or they have one, but they just want you to step up and take the lead.
Remember, it’s important to always be courteous when communicating your opinion. Don’t get decisiveness confused with rude or arrogant. There’s plenty of ways to discuss your opinion while being courteous to you partner, friend, or coworker. Being decisive is a trait that I’ve never been good at. I constantly work on this skill and it’s not always easy, especially in scenarios where you really don’t care about the outcome. But stating your opinion will gain you the respect as a leader and someone who knows what they want. Being with someone who doesn’t know what they want becomes frustrating and a burden over time. That’s why it’s so important in relationships of all kinds to practice polite decisiveness.
You may be worried about being wrong sometimes. Let’s say your partner asked what you wanted to do for food, and you didn’t care where you both went. Instead of reciprocating and asking what she wanted to do, you remembered there’s a place you haven’t tried yet downtown. Although you had little to no interest in trying this place out, it’s the first place that popped into your head. And so you communicate that to your partner. Turns out, that place was awful. Food was awful, the staff was awful, and it was way overpriced. This next part is important. Even if you are wrong about the direction that you brought your partner, you will still have your partners respect of being decisive on where to go eat. And this is what really matters. It doesn’t matter so much that the restaurant was terrible. What matters is you had a path in your mind, and you followed it. Even if you weren’t adamant about this restaurant in the first place, you were asked for your opinion and you communicated it. Now, your partner has every right to disagree. And if that’s the case, don’t argue about it. Decide as a collective what’s the best path to go down. Your partner may have a better idea. If that’s the case, follow that path. Try your idea another time. But you did your duty by providing an option and your opinion. And that’s the important thing. You’ll be respected for not rolling over and having an opinion. You may not be sure about the idea you have, but you gave it in a time when it was asked for. People are drawn to others who know what they want. Even if they are wrong sometimes, you’ll be known for having a direction that others can follow. And if it’s the wrong path, admit it and move on. Don’t let your ego get in the way of admitting defeat. Be decisive, yet compassionate. This is a wonderful combination and a pleasure to be around people with these traits.
Polarity in relationships may be the missing piece in one or many of your relationships. Whether man or woman, stating your opinion or your ideas with confidence even when you aren’t sure is so important for keeping a healthy energy between two people. Too much agreeableness isn’t always a good thing. There needs to be a balance between common ground and having your own path. People respect others for having a purpose. And that’s what polarity in relationships is all about.
Dabbl 