Confident vs Cocky

              Some people think there’s a fine line between being confident and being cocky. In a way they are correct, but in another way they are sorely mistaken. Confidence comes from the belief in oneself whereas cockiness comes from trying to convince themselves and others that they believe in themselves. There is an important distinction between the two. With confidence, there comes a subtle relaxation. On the other hand, cockiness comes with a hit of insecurity and uncertainty. Thus, the need to outwardly prove to others a certain level of belief in oneself.

              Someone who is cocky will generally be a little more outspoken about it. There are a couple reasons for this behavior. As I mentioned earlier, there is a hint of insecurity that comes with cockiness. This would help explain the outspoken behavior. In an effort to convince others of their confidence, they are trying to help themselves gain confidence as well. In other words, if other people believe in you, then you shall believe in yourself too. That’s why those who are cocky will be in your face about it. They have a gap of confidence that they are trying to fill by convincing you that they are confident. Generally these people are not fun to be around. A lot of times, cocky people will put down others in order to build themselves up. Again, it goes back to trying to convince others of their confidence. Although this is not the healthiest mindset to have, I would be lying if I said it doesn’t work. For a lot of people, this is a defense mechanism and it helps to have other people believe in them. You see this in sports all the time. With athletics, everyone is trying to convince others that they are the alpha. The others try to behave as the alpha in an attempt to trick others into thinking that they are the alpha. This works for some people. It’s a mind game and some are better at it than others. However, being cocky only has benefits in competition where there it is a zero sum game, or a win/lose scenario. Being cocky is no way to build relationships and make friends. It is a way to step on your opponent’s throat and win. That’s why in most scenarios in life, there is very little need for being cocky. For most people, being confident is the better way to be.

              Confidence is very different than cockiness. Although there is some overlap, confidence is much healthier of a mindset. With cockiness, you will hurt friendships, relationships, and make you a burden to be around. However with confidence, you are a pleasure to be around. Not only are confident people a pleasure to be around, it is a much healthier mind state to have for that person. Having confidence means you have belief in your abilities. It doesn’t mean you are out to prove to others or rub it in anyone’s face as with cockiness. There is much more mental security that comes along with confidence. That is why there is a subtle relaxation and calmness to being confident. With confidence, you never change who you are. Instead, you build up who you are through believing in yourself. Some of the smartest people in the world agree that life is just a confidence game. The more confidence you have, the more likely you are to succeed in areas you set your mind to. There is no false sense of identity with confidence. This may be the case with cockiness, but with confidence you know exactly what you are capable of doing and know that your abilities are enough. You can’t build up confidence artificially like you can with cockiness. With confidence, it takes work. You can’t be confident with work if you are not good at your job. That would require the need of cockiness to convince others of a false confidence in order to get what you want. Instead, confidence takes work. It takes work to build skill sets for confidence. Having the adequate skill set is the only way to build confidence. You may be thinking that there are simply confident people out there. And there are. And they have gotten that way at either building up the proper skill sets or naturally being good at the skills sets it takes to succeed. In most cases, the people that always seem confident usually have high skill levels of communication. In other words, they are good talkers and know how to communicate effectively to get what they want. They have a skill set that they know will help them succeed.

              Confidence and cockiness have much overlap but couldn’t be more different. Cockiness is no fun to be around and is an attempt at convincing others of a false confidence. It’s not real confidence. Or else they would have a more relaxed persona about themselves. Instead, there is a gap in their armor and they are trying to convince others that it is not there. This can help build up confidence having others believe in you too. However, I advise a much better approach to life and its small problems. Instead, have confidence. Confidence is a breath of fresh air for yourself and for others to be around you. It is a relaxed mind state with a strong believe in one’s own abilities. The only way to build confidence is through working on yourself. Build up your own skill set and you will have more confidence in your abilities to attack problems. This confidence will lead to success and success will lead to more confidence. It is a joy of a cycle to be in. If you aren’t building up any skill sets, then sadly you building up confidence will come slowly. The best thing to do is to try something that you aren’t good at, and build up your skills over time. See for yourself that building a skill set leads to confidence and take on the challenges. Become confident and you see what success is really like.


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