I’m Scared

It’s good to be honest with ourselves and write down our fears. This is from one of our talented writers who wanted to put this out there…

I’m scared. Mostly of myself. I’m scared I don’t have what it takes. I’m scared I don’t have the ambition to do great things. I’m scared my lazy habits will take over my life and take me away from any potential I may have. I’m scared I won’t make enough money. I’m scared that my work ethic or cleverness won’t be strong or persistent enough to make enough money to not have to worry about it.

I wish I was more ambitious. I wish I had the urge to do great things. I’ve always been good at de-stressing. However, the lack of ambition and work ethic and energy to take on great tasks is starting to weigh on me. How do I get this energy?

Where does this energy come from? If only I had more energy or enthusiasm, life would be easier. Starting a side business would be easier. I would be able to start instead of dreaming about it starting. I would be able to grow something of my own. Make money on my own. I would feel what it’s like to have my ideas actually generate an income. Even if it’s a few dollars here and there. There is no limit of where that could go.

I had a day dream on my walk this morning about where I’d like my life to be in 15 years or by the time I’m 40. In this dream I was financially free to the point where I didn’t have to worry about money. I had a house in the mountains that my family and I stayed in for the majority of the year, while spending time at our lake or beach house the other parts of the year. In this dream, I had my own ecommerce business. I sold something I believed in and it was automated to the point where I only spend 2-3 hours a day directly on it. The other parts of my days I would be spending time with my family and working on my hobbies. My hobbies are golf, BJJ, hiking, exercise, and even skiing once in a while. Golf and hikes in the summer. BJJ and skiing in the winter. My investments and self-run company would take care of affording all of this.

This all sounds so nice. I hope not too nice for my capabilities. It will take some work to get there but maybe it’ll work out. A couple things would have to happen first. For one, I would need to start my business. And two, I would need to grow my business into a self-sustaining profit machine. Two things of which I have never done before. Although, I’d like to find out how I can make that happen. Maybe I need a mentor. Someone who’s been down this track and knows the frustrations of wanting to have your dreams come true, but also having that invisible blockade that is stopping you from even starting.

I’m scared. There’s no doubt about that. I’m scared I won’t be enough for myself or for my significant other. I’m scared I’ll keep spinning my wheels at a normal job for the rest of my life without taking any chances. I’m scared I won’t have enough money. I’m scared I won’t have the energy or enthusiasm or ambitions to ever give myself a chance to make my dreams come true. I’m scared.

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