The Quarantine Times 32 – Good Practices for a Healthy Relationship

              Every relationship is unique. Each relationship has their own set of rules and inside jokes and problems. However, there are a set of principles that are common throughout every successful relationship. Here is a simple guide of tactics for having a successful relationship with your partner.

  1. Turn your opinions into questions
    1. Here’s what I mean. No one likes to hear someone talk about themselves. Whenever I hear someone start every sentence with “I this…” or “I that…” I cringe to myself. So, rule numero uno is to limit your “I” statements. Instead, turn those statements into a question. A lot of times, you can get your point across by asking it in the form of a question. Furthermore, you will show your partner that you care about their opinion which is important. For instance, let’s say she wants to go to a certain restaurant for dinner and you hate that restaurant. Instead of saying “I hate that restaurant” you can ask her if there are any better restaurants that she likes over that one. You clearly value her opinion because you are asking for it. Your point of wanting to go somewhere else also comes out. And more importantly, you avoid any aggressive tones that can lead to all sorts of trouble. Crisis avoided. To sum up, avoid starting your sentences with “I” as much as possible. Good relationships are more about tones rather than the point itself you are trying to make.
  2. Hug her
    1. A hug goes a long way. Especially when things get frustrating for her. It shows support and can often times say more than you can with your words
  3. Unexpected gift at an unexpected time
    1. This is a bonus if you can pull it off. If you succeed at this, your stock will go way up. Gifting someone something that has come up naturally in your conversations is a great way to win some bonus points. Don’t tell her you are going to buy it, just gauge her interest and if you feel that she is interested, go ahead and buy it for her. Many say that this is the trick to win over any woman. Now there is one caveat. You have to be sure that she is already interested in you. If you have any doubt, it may be too risky or too soon as she could think you are coming on too strong and is just not ready for it yet. The better thing to do in this scenario is to wait until she has already shown interest, then go for that gift. This may even be better this way as I’m sure she would enjoy that you remembered a gift you talked about a while ago. Keep a look out for what she’s always wanted. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just make a note of the things she’s interested in and gift it to her at the right time.
  4. Be a man!
    1. Once the relationship is in a comfortable place, it is your duty to pleasure her. You may not always be in the mood, but you better get in the mood because you serve that woman. Don’t pass up the chance because you are too tired or not in the mood. This part of the relationship is as important as any other one, so man up and go for it. Bring your A game whenever she is looking for it.
  5. Don’t take yourself too seriously
    1. Nothing stirs up tensions better than getting defensive about something silly. Remember to laugh at yourself. This is probably the most important thing in any relationship. Taking yourself too seriously can be stressful for others. And when others poke fun at you, take it with laughter. If people are laughing at you, that’s a good thing. You are providing laughs. Don’t get embarrassed or mad that this is happening. Own it and laugh yourself. Perhaps even play into what they are laughing about. If you are producing laughs then people will want to be around you. Who cares if they’re laughing at you? Becoming defensive only shows your insecurities and is not a good look. I’m not saying roll over whenever someone is poking fun at you, but turn it into a joke. Most of the time, it will look bad of the person making fun of you. This also is a good tactic to do in any conversation and to build friends.
  6. Have a quiet passion
    1. Showing your interests by doing rather than saying is a gold star in any relationship. No one likes someone who brags about what they’re up to. But, someone that has interests and acts on those interests is very interesting. Whether you’re into fitness, or diet, or dance, or entrepreneurship, or martial arts, do not start ranting about these things to your partner or your friends. Instead, just do them. If you are consistently doing your interests, then your partner and friends will ask you questions about it, making them more interested. If you start ranting on and on about what the best way to exercise is and why, then this is the best way to keep them from being interested in it themselves. Follow your passion, and keep your mouth shut about it until they ask about it. This will make you seem more interesting and mysterious. It will also give you a better reputation around you social groups as one that doesn’t talk about themselves.

I know this was a short list, but these principles are rock solid. If you can incorporate a few of these into your relationship that it will only benefit you and the relationship you are hoping to build. These principles have lead me to a successful relationship as well as a successful circle of friends (outside of principle number four). Enjoy putting these principles to good use and remember don’t take yourself too seriously.

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