Handling a Breakup

             Handling a breakup is never an easy task. The longer the relationship, the worse it is getting over him or her. I have some thoughts on this subject that has helped me come out of 2 horrible breakups on top. You learn the most about yourself when you go through a breakup. In the long term, you will even be happy that you went through that shitty situation because of how much you learned and grew from it. Success stems from struggle and there is no struggle quite like a breakup. I know how bad it sucks and I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worse enemies. It’s very important to handle a breakup carefully. During this emotional time, it is very easy to make mistakes that will reverse your progress and damage a relationship even more than it has to. On the flip side, there are important steps to take to ensure maximum growth out of you and making you a better person because of it. The first breakup is usually the hardest, and after you learn the tricks and hacks that help you move on, getting over a breakup will be easier the next time. I’m not going to get into the details of my breakups, but I will give you the “Do!” List and more importantly the “Do Not Do!” List after a breakup. I’ll start off with the “Do Not Do!” List. I will be speaking in terms of a guy’s point of view since that has been my experience, although this is just as applicable for a girl getting over a breakup as well!

DO NOT DO!…

  1. TELL HER YOU MISS/LOVE HER – You may think this is a good idea and a nice gesture but in reality, it makes you sound needy and emotionally unstable. This is not a loving gesture. She is trying to get over you so don’t make it harder on her. She will only try pushing you away even more.
  2. LASH OUT – One mistake almost any guy makes is lashing out after a breakup. Being mean is never the best approach although it may feel good at the time. You have to realize that it doesn’t matter anymore. Even lashing out shows that you still care a lot. I do believe you can be friends afterwards, but in my experience, it takes a lot of time of separation before the coast is clear to be just friends. Being friends too early is a mistake. Trying to be friends when you haven’t gotten over her completely or if there are still even a little bit of feelings left will only set you up for trouble. Lashing out will make it very difficult to become friends down the road. It also won’t make you feel better at all. So just don’t do it.
  3. DRINK TOO MUCH – This is true for all substances. Don’t drink too much when getting over someone. This will numb your wits and it will only make things harder to do. Getting drunk often leads to lashing out. You may feel better temporarily, but it doesn’t resolve anything. Don’t drink too much, and definitely don’t drink alone. That brings me to my next point.
  4. ISOLATE YOURSELF – This is pretty self-explanatory. Being by yourself will only give you more time to let your mine run and overthink things and simply just feel sorry for yourself.
  5. TEXT HER – Just leave her alone. Having any interaction with her will give you false hope and reverse progress. Just leave her alone so you can work on yourself and get better from it.

DO!

  1. UNFOLLOW HER – I highly recommend this one. Unfollowing on any social media will help you keep your mind off her. It is very easy to check Instagram to see what she’s up to and who she’s spending time with. But this will only hurt you. Even if it’s something that is innocent, it will still hurt. Don’t give yourself the temptation and just unfollow her. An alcoholic shouldn’t have booze around the house and you shouldn’t have pictures of her at your disposal either. You are having withdrawals just like that alcoholic, so you need to get rid of anything that makes you think of her or where you can see her.
  2. WORKOUT- This is the most universal advice I can give. It’s applicable to whenever you’re feeling down. It’s science that working out makes you feel better by pumping endorphins through your body. It also is a step in the next direction of making yourself better and more attractive to others.
  3. BE SOCIAL – Hanging out with your friends is one of the best things you can do to get over her. Laughter is the best medicine for anything so go out and have fun. Do not keep yourself isolated. You’ll forget about her easier when you’re with your friends having fun and meeting people. This brings me to my next point.
  4. FIND A CRUSH – I’m not saying find a rebound and settle down. But I am saying it can be healthy to find a girl you think you like and flirt with her. This is another hack that makes it easier to get over your ex. With this, it’s like you have a new beginning and the beginning of something can be very exciting. Careful not to get too emotionally attached to this next girl, because this will most likely not be great for the next relationship, since she will start to feel that you’re using her to get over your ex. But have fun with her. Sleep around a little bit and play the field. Build up your lineup and start to feel good about yourself again.
  5. KEEP A JOURNAL – In my opinion, keeping a journal is always a good idea. It is a way for us to measure our growth as people. It’s a way to get your thoughts out there without being judged. What can be measured can be managed, and journalling is a great way to manage your personal growth. During a breakup, it’s even more important to keep a journal. You may be feeling like you want to talk to someone and your journal is always available. Jot down everything that comes to mind. I prefer writing with a pen rather than on a computer just because it is more satisfy to write than it is to type. After writing, I usually feel like I’ve taken a shot of positivity. Just the feeling of letting out whatever is on your mind and getting it out of your system is a very rewarding feeling. And the best part, you’ll look back on your entries and laugh and smile at how far you’ve came since then.
  6. START A NEW HOBBY – Or bring back a hobby from the past. This is another way to keep your mind occupied when going through a troubled time. Concentrating on a task and completing it will give yourself a rewarding feeling. This will boost your confidence, helping you get back to your positive ways. You can even be social with this. I know putting yourself out that can be scary for some people, but hey, you might even meet someone new who could share a similar interest. You never know.

I wish I knew about these hacks and had the strength to execute them when I was going through my first breakup. I made a lot of the mistakes. But I learned from my mistakes and I’m better off knowing what I now. I know a lot of this can be very hard since you don’t think logically during a breakup. Breakups can be very emotional and turn you into someone you’re not. So please be careful and mindful of your feelings and your urges to do something you may regret. Best of luck my friends. You’ll be soooo much better going through a break up. The light at the end of the tunnel is a wonderful place. Trust me. Hope this helps.

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